To HELP.......I'm a freaking introvert.

 Just.....let me mope, okay?

My family are a bunch of introverts. Like, Star Trek watching, Internet junkie introverts. And even I need alone time sometimes.

Now, when I was littler, that wasn't such a bad thing. My mom arranged playdates and when those weren't going on, I was okay with playing with my sisters. Life was so simple.

Then I turned 11, and I started going to HELP. Now, I love HELP deeply. It's like home. I'm not saying I don't. I love it so much I could cry, that's how important it is to me. And, when I was 11, 12, 13, it wasn't such a big deal that I didn't hang out with the other girls, that we were just "class friends". 

But then, around 13-14, I started to realize I was getting popular. Now, I do NOT want to sound conceited, but it's true. Ask anyone who the 3 most popular boys and the 4 most popular girls were in drama last semester, and they would say Aaron Marshall, Adam Roesner, and Isaac Owens, and Cassidy Conlin, Mattie Jones, Rachel Funke, and.....me. It was almost to a point of matching us up with the boys. That's what comes of being a wee bit bubbly and having an uncontrollable laugh. 

That, however, was last year.

I'm struggling, now, to keep the friends I made. I HATE talking on the phone, it just makes me nervous. It's probably my OCD coming through, which means talking on the phone is GOOD for me. I don't think of hanging out with people often enough, I never grew up with it. I have a hard time connecting. So I see my friends slipping away. You know why? You all are normal. Surprise! You don't exactly know what to do with me.

You all know who you are. I love you all and I WANT to be your friends. I'm not a manic emo who hates everybody just because I'm struggling to make life work with junior year (UGH) and I grew up the weird, introverted child. It's true, I like Peabo Bryson, jazz, being alone, and I obsess over things a lot. I don't fit in. I'm trying.

Don't drift away, just give me a kick in the teeth and call me. Let's hang out.I want to be your friend, honest.

Sorry to be pushy and weird. This is the solution I see, to fixing a problem and explaining you need to give me a bit of understanding. I'm a 5-year-old learning how to ride a bike. I'm a 16-year-old trying to break out of being introverted. I'm not used to being good friends with people. Odd, but true.